A little rectangular opening which has become my new window to my new room. And out that window I can see the raindrops pelting down rhythmically. I can see the wall and the roof of the adjacent house, a few old and torn clothes hanging down the window. I can see the coconut trees standing tall against the sky, hiding it with the might of their green leaves.
Quite suddenly, a new city has become my new residence. Just a week ago, I was lying on a different bed, looking out a different window at the sky of a different place; and today I find myself on a new bed with a new window to look at the sky through. I have a new address now. Not entirely permanent, and yet quite so.
It’s strange though how quick I adjusted to the new place. Two years since I had been wishing to leave; two years since I had been wishing for a change even though change had never seemed to be my strong suit; two years since I had been wishing for a place I could call home. And here I am today with a whole new address, away from the place that suffocated me.
I remember that final day in the house people know as my home. I had trouble sleeping. I was about to finally leave for the place I had always wanted to run away to the next morning. I had thought I wouldn’t really shed a tear for that old place. But I did. 18 years were too much to just pull away from without pain.
I remember the first day in this place. I had trouble falling asleep and shed a tear or two once more. I had picked up the phone and dialled a familiar number to hear a familiar voice across some hundred or more miles. And only then had sleep slowly made its way into my weary eyes; only then had I drifted off to an undisturbed slumber.
But that was the first day. 5 days down the road, I feel perfectly okay with my new surroundings. I have been lost in the roads and then found the ways again. I have learnt watching out for the signals on the roads. I have learnt to smile and laugh with complete strangers.
I miss my old place but perhaps not as much as is considered normal; perhaps not as much as the place does. But that is me. I had wished for this new-found freedom. I had wished to be away. And I have been granted that. I have a home here in two arms. I have a home here in a smile and a warm voice. And I am more than happy with it.
I don’t wish people to understand why I smile as the wind blows my hair all over my face while sitting across from a lake. I don’t wish people to comprehend why I do not want to go back anymore. Let them snicker behind my backs; let them talk about how I am enjoying being alone. I have never cared and I never will.
For the first time in forever, I have come this close to leaving. For the first time in forever, I have come this close to home. And for the first time in forever, I am happy. Genuinely.
Destiny Diaries 