Wishful Thinking

The rain clouds today had gathered and settled themselves in the vast expanse of the sky, waiting for opportune moments to shed their burden of rain. Of course, their opportune moments never clashed with ours and it so happened that they decided to bestow us with rain on the precise moments we needed to stay dry. There was a strange smell in the air. A smell like last year; a smell like deja vu; a smell that reminded me that similar things were happening today.

It’s been a year and three days since I have semi permanently settled in this city, for what they called education and what I believed to be my freedom. And today, as I walked in the mild drizzle under my umbrella towards my college, I smelt the air and was reminded that a fresh new batch was about to get admitted today. Anxious faces full of anticipation, wide eyes full of wonder – I knew that this was to be seen at a particular corner of my building today. Some were about to have a new start. The wind was excited. I? Maybe.

New beginnings sure excite me. But perhaps, since this was not exactly a beginning for myself, I was not that excited. And maybe that’s why I was not really eager to take a peek into the faces of the “ickle firsties” gathered round with their parents and files, waiting. One thing that excites me though is the thought that a bunch of people are about to get their versions of the world snuffed out like a candle’s flame in two days’ time when they actually step into the college.

It must be exciting and frightening for them. Experiencing it all will come with a wonder I can only imagine now – the grandeur of the campus, the freedom within, the breaking of the numerous myths. Things have become routine now, the truth has already been revealed, the paper boats of newness have already sailed and drowned in the puddles of rainwater for me. All I can think of at this point is how I wish to experience it all again. From the beginning. And how it’s all going to be nothing but wishful thinking.

(Photograph was sneakily clicked by me during JUDE entrance exam, commonly known as BAdmissions ’17)

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